the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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