No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
