I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So vagazzling was a success
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