No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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