thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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