i would punch a child for taco bell
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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