Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
