can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
