just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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