butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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