i was born a porn star she said
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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