Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
