Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
