You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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