I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
