theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
