his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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