I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
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I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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