tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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