so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
