Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
