Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize