If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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