Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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