I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize