He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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