It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
