Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
