and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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