Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
