lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.