i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
