I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
