hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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