D3 body, D1 cock
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
