Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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