exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
