belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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