I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
