why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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