sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize