just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
