I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize