okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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