She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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