Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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