I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
