i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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