Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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