bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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