I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
