Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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