We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
