sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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