there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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