It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
