Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This baby is an asshole
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
