I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
