Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
